How our marriage has changed with TWO kids

Everything changed the day our baby girl was born. People tell you that kids change everything and it's true. 100% true. The second she entered the world our lives were dramatically different. Then once again, everything changed. We welcomed our precious baby boy Finnick into the world in February and life got THAT much crazier. I wouldn't trade this life for anything, but I want to share a little honest look into how two kids changes the whole dynamic of your family and marriage.

Jason and I met when we were 15 years old at youth group and started dating when we were 20 years old. From the time we dated until Addison was born, our relationship was very self centered, as it should be. We were in love, focused on one another and had endless amounts of free time to spend with one another. The conversations we had were wonderful. We got to know another so deeply. We used to spend hours binge watching shows and movies together, cuddling on the couch. One of our favourite things to do was go to cafe's for coffee and go out for dinner. I am thankful that we had 3 years of marriage together without children because I find that this was such a critical time to grow in our love for another and enjoy the alone time we had. Here's a few things that we have both noticed a change in since having both kids-

1) We don't get much alone time

I'm sure this is true for every married couple after having a baby/babies. We used to have all the time in the world to spend together, but now we need to make more of an effort to carve out alone time.

2) We have to schedule date nights

Before having kids, Jason and I would go out all the time. We had date nights that were super last minute and fun; however, since having kids, this has changed. We have to plan out our date nights and find a baby sitter.

3) We can't sleep in anymore

4) Sex isn't as spontaneous. Not to say we have to schedule out intimacy; but let's be open and honest here. Sex after kids isn't the same. It's not bad or worse, it's just different. And by different I mean you can't just have sex whenever the feeling hits ya! We have two little ones that demand our attention at all times.

5) Our priorities are different.

We have always been great at saving and managing money. Jason and I paid for our entire wedding on our own, and keep in mind, we got married when Jason was 22 and I was 23. We also were able to purchase our first home the summer before Addison was born. However, our priorities were different before having kids. Yes, we were good with our money, but we had different priorities like going on trips together, shopping, eating out, etc. Now, we have a changed set of priorities when it comes to our money. Our kids come first. Before buying new shoes, going out to eat whenever we want, buying starbucks everyday, etc. Instead, we put our money to things that we enhance their future and better their lives.

6) We are a better team

Jason and I have always been great teammates. Yes, we are a married couple, but we are also best friends. We have always been this way. However, I used to spend a lot of time with my girlfriends before having babies. Most of my girlfriends don't have kids, which can be hard sometimes because I wish I had more mom friends, but this means that Jason and I are always together. I love this! Working together to raise our children means spending all of our time together as a family. I'd rather be with him and the kids than out with my friends. Having to be on the same page about parenting has also bettered our communication with one another and brought us closer together.

7) Our roles are different in our marriage

Before the kids, Jason and shared a lot of the responsibilities around the house. Now, I find that I am taking care of the kids all day, so when Jason gets home from work our roles change. He takes over and cares of the kids, while I do all of the household chores. I actually love this!

All in all, our marriage has become stronger since having kids. The love you share for your children is the most special thing in a marriage. Yes, our time together is different because we're constantly thinking about and talking about the kids when we're together, or away from them. Yes, our sex life isn't as spontaneous as it once was. Yes, we don't have as much money to just throw around at things for ourselves, we have to make sacrifices for the kids. Yes, our date nights are few and far between and we can't sleep in like we used to. BUT! We are such a better team, life is more joyful and the kids are constantly keeping us growing and working together to be better parents. I loved our marriage before kids, and I love it after kids! Things never stay the same forever. We are constantly experiencing new things and changing. I am so thankful to be growing together with the man of dreams. Having children with my husband has grown my love for him more and more! I wouldn't change it for anything!