Born To Do This | Mom Life

This is going to be a raw and real motherhood blog. There's not going to be any sugar coating or painting a picture of motherhood that just isn't true. Let's be real and stick together. Motherhood. It's a scary, overwhelming, an emotional bundle of joy all rolled into one. You have so much love for your baby/babies, yet at the same time, there are days when you want to run away, quit this 'hood' that you are apart of and just have a day to yourself. Not even a day, 5 minutes to yourself! Do you ever feel like this? I go through these emotions several times a day.

I'm currently a few days away from being 28 weeks pregnant with our second child. As I get closer and closer to my due date I feel more and more anxious about what's in store for me. I remember being so eager to meet our daughter when I was pregnant the first time. Everything was new. Exciting and this made the experience feel longer. Yet, this time, my pregnancy has flown by. And yes, don't get me wrong, I am SUPER EXCITED to meet our little guy when the time comes; however, would I say I am super eager? Nope. In all honesty, I'm not. That's not because I don't want to be a mom of two. I'm just scared. I'm scared of what having two under two will be like. Our daughter, Addison will have just turned 18 months when Finn is born. That's if he makes it to his due date. So let's talk honestly here. Labor is traumatic. My first labor and delivery with our daughter lasted 27 hours and after receiving two epidurals, neither of them working, I experienced all of the pain. I ended up pushing for 6 hours! This terrifies me. I know not everyone's experience is the same, or anywhere close to mine, but there are days when I feel as though I was not built for this. It's not possible for me to go through this again. With our daughter, it took my body over 5 months to heal. 4 surgeries later, I finally had a bit of physical relief. Doesn't it seem like I am nuts to be attempting this all again? The worries that float around in my mind these days are real. They invade my head space and sneak in like an intruder in the night. But let me be honest here, as much as I am worried, feel unequipped, less than, and fearful of what lies ahead, I know that these are lies. Yes, motherhood is HARD. It's draining and scary at times. But I was born to do this. I was born with a body that allows me to go through labor, as rough as it can be, and come through it with the ability to bounce back. It may take longer than I would expect or like, but I was born with a body that can do this. I can carry a baby inside my womb for 9 months, nourishing this baby, and providing a safe home for it until it's ready to be welcomed into the world.

They are days when I want to run away. There are times when I convince myself that I am not equipped to handle this life, this mom life that has been set before me. But let me tell you this, what I know, is greater than how I feel. I know without a doubt, I can do this. God has poured out His grace upon me day after day, guiding me and giving strength in the moments I feel weak.

There's no doubt about it, I WAS BORN TO DO THIS.

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